Souls Rhapsody’s Weblog

At some point in everyone’s life, I’m sure they’ve said this to themselves, “Damn, God must really like this person, she/he is so much more talented than me.”  Well, ladies (and gents who happen to stumble across this page), let me provide you with some insight – using my dear seiyuu as examples.

Let me explain how this works: when you are a seiyuu, voice and face is pretty much all that is important (skill is something that everyone can eventually obtain to an acceptable degree after training, so I won’t factor this into my evaluation).  So… with that said, let’s take a look:

Beautiful voice… but… plastic surgery anyone?

Example 1: Sawashiro Miyuki

I have no idea what is wrong with this poor girl.  She’s young, she’s got the most beautiful voice in the world, and yet… she looks 40.  Not only does she look almost twice her actual age, she also looks like an UGLY OLD LADY twice her age.  I don’t mean to sound shallow, but God was really stingy in terms of allotting physical attractive when Miyuki was born.

Example 2: Nabatame Hitomi

Example 2: Nabatame Hitomi
Naba-nee is one of my favourite seiyuu.  She’s been casted for countless awesome roles, and she’s managed to play them all very successfully.  I used to think she was the love of my life… until I saw her face.  I’M SORRY!!!!!!!! >_<  She’s got a nice, versatile voice, and she’s done a lot of roles that I absolutely adore (Nobue from IchiMaro, Kanu from Ikkitousen, Shizuma from Strawberry Panic, Kanade from Candy Boy, Margery Daw from Shana).  However, when I actually started to learn about seiyuu (which was not long ago… maybe less than 1/2 a year back?), and I saw her face, my fabricated image of Nabatame Hitomi was completely… nuked (I can’t think of a better way to describe it).

At the other end of the spectrum… beautiful face, “questionable” voice

Example 1: Chihara Minori

Ok… minorin is one of my favourite seiyuu… mostly because of her face.  She can also sing, which is a bonus that God decided to throw in when she was climbing outta her mother’s womb.  However, I must admit that I am most, definitely, NOT, attracted to minorin’s voice.  There have been several times where I’ve found her voice very very annoying, even when she’s singing.  And O LORD, Natsume Aya was just… not cool.  Still, I can’t say her voice is BAD bad… but for someone whose face is so pretty… her voice is seriously lacking.

Example 2: Nakahara Mai

This is actually another iffy person for me to put in this category.  Some people find Mai attractive, while others find her… slightly “odd” looking (when I first saw her face, I thought, for just a little while, that she was a transexual).  Don’t get me wrong though, I like some of Mai’s work.  I think she does well as a seiyuu, but I simply don’t like her actual voice quality.  Her high-pitched girl voice just… ugh. =_=

Lucky people who have a bit of both…

Example 1: Inoue Marina

I never found Marina particularly pretty, but she’s not ugly either.  Nor did I ever find her voice particularly nice to listen to… but eh, she lands good roles here and there (her debut Cossette, Kana from Minami-ke, Kasahara Iku from Toshokan Sensou).  Pretty balanced, I would say.

Example 2: Hirano Aya

Example 2: Hirano Aya
Despite all the times I keep saying how much I hate this girl, I can’t deny the fact that she is, indeed, gifted.  Her voice isn’t too bad at all (with the exception of her Haruhi days… when she used to sound like she was on helium 24/7), and some people (for reasons that will be forever mysterious to me) find her attractive.  A bit of both… mmm…

Poor unfortunate souls who seem to be lacking in everything but spirit

Example 1: Momoi Halko

I adore her.  I really do, but I have to say her voice totally gets on my nerves if I have to listen to it for a long period of time.  Having seen her in person, and being less than say… half a meter from her face, I must say she’s totally lacking there too.  However, I adore Halko because she’s got such an awesome personality, and she sounds like a very strong person.  So maybe God ran out of “Hotness” and “Smexy Voice” that day, and tried to make it up to her by give her extra “Kickass Personality”.

Example 2: Kaneda Tomoko

If there is one voice in the world that gives me a headache within seconds, it would be Tomoko’s.  Her portrayal of Nel from Bleach had my ears bleeding since her first word.  Aoi from Myself; Yourself almost made me drop the series because of her unbearably screechy voice.  From all the pictures I’ve seen of her, she definitely does not look attractive.  So what did God give her to make up for all her… deficits?  I remember seeing some clip a little while back with Tomoko wearing a Stitch (from Lilo and Stitch) hat and getting high on sake.  So God had a little bit of “Kickass Personality” left, and a great abundance of “Total Insanity”, which He probably threw into Tomoko.  Mmm…

The most FORTUNATE SOUL <3

Example 1: Tanaka Rie (ZOMG MEGANE *drools*)

Height, body, looks, smexy voice… RieRie’s got it all.  I think God accidentally threw in a little bit of “Insanity” too… which some view as either RieRie’s downfall… or an extra dose of moe-ness.

Overused, but unforgettable XD

Example 2: Noto Mamiko

Example 2: Noto Mamiko
THIS is totally biased. XD XD XD  Truthfully, Mami isn’t all that pretty at all… nor is she tall… nor does she have a nice body… but eh.  I love her… and since she has my LOVE, she is most definitely a fortunate soul. ^^

Example 3: Mizuki Nana

Example 3: Mizuki Nana
THIS is just for Stappy’s sake.  I mean, if Nana had to be in any of the above categories, she’d probably fit here.  I am not particularly attracted to her face.  I like her music, I like her singing, I like many of her voice roles.  So… I guess it won’t hurt to put her in this category.  There is one thing that Nana is majorly lacking: HEIGHT.

Example 4: Paku Romi

Example 4: Paku Romi
This was also a late addition (mind you, I started this entry CENTURIES ago… but I only managed to get my hands on a few good pictures NOW).  I like Romi’s work… I love her low voice, and I find it unfortunate that she often voices boys.  Romi’s voice would totally work for a kickass female (e.g. Osaki Nana).  After Stappy provided me with a few HM3 magazines, I’ve totally fallen in love with her.  She’s so BLOODY cool!!!  For someone her age (ZOMG SHE’S 36!), she looks totally awesome.

And THUS I conclude my analysis.  God is CLEARLY being unfair when you have people with the likes of Tanaka Rie, Noto Mamiko, Mizuki Nana, and Paku Romi lurking on this earth.  Well, fellow-normal-citizens-of-this-planet-who-are-not-as-gifted-as-the-4-ladies-listed-above, we have no choice but to suck it in and deal with our sad, sad lives.  However, please take comfort in knowing that you are most likely not as ugly as Sawashiro Miyuki, or not as annoying-sounding as Kaneda Tomoko.  If people like them made it big, it only goes to show that there is hope for everyone ^_^